Pot Hole...On the Rocks

So here's a little anecdotal fluff piece of advice from my meandering experiences....shopping carts can kill. This week I had my step-mother fly in from Houston and my sister fly up from LA. We had a great dinner Wednesday night at The Slanted Door and then met up again tonight for cocktails. Let me preface that by saying my sister and step-mother met up for drinks at 4pm...by the time I joined them....they were...umm....yes, "that". Either way, I played the "I need to catch up" game and we had a smashing evening. My boyfriend met up with us for one more round, a bit of food and then my sister, he and I began our short trek home. A side note about my family...we're a goofy bunch after cocktail hour.

Picture the three of us walking down the street. My sister and I notice a small abandoned shopping cart on the sidewalk. We may have two years between us but we definitely share a brain and along those lines had the same thought. "Hey Tierney, why don't you hop in the cart...I'll push". See picture below:

Take this picture as the 5 4 3 2 1 countdown to sibling catastrophe. Immediately after Jake snapped this shot I decided that we needed to hit warp speed.

As you may have noticed we were on a sidewalk and this sidewalk had a ramp down to cross the upcoming street.

Mission number one, make it down the ramp at high speed with my sister in the wonky cart.

Mission accomplished.


Mission number two, make it across the street at high speed with my sister in the wonky cart.

Mission accomplished.

Mission number three, make it up the ramp at high speed with my sister in the wonky cart.

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POT HOLE

Woops, didn't see that coming. Rushing towards the on-ramp to the sidewalk, the wonky cart hit a wonky, hidden pot hole and the drunken unthinkable happened in full view of A) fashionistas B) tourists C) locals D) my boyfriend and most embarrassingly E) the homeless.

The moment those two front wheels hit the deep, wet hole we came to an abrupt and painful stop. My sister was all but ejected from the cart and the force of the impact caused the cart to roll over itself with me entirely flip flopping over it. And there it was.....Nick's family road kill. The first thing I processed was my boyfriend expediting his stride down the street to deminish his association with our calamity. Immediately after that realization my hearing decided to rejoin my other senses and I heard, "OOOHHH MUUUHHH GAWWWDDDD....DDAAATSS TRAGIC". Where did this comment eminate from you ask? One of the homeless. That's right. For the first time since I moved to SF I had a homeless person feel the need to verbally deem me more tragic than themselves. Humiliating yet in my drunken stupor I found it humorous. Finally I decided to stand up and stop allowing people from stepping over me at which point I began looking for my sister......this deserves yet another paragraph.

I pan back over my shoulder to find my poor little sister with her ass stuck inside the extremely tiny/narrow shopping cart (again reference the picture above) but her face had landed smack down in the foulest San Francisco street corner cesspool. Everyone insert their OMG faces here.

So as I stated at the beginning of this post...this is an anecdotal fluff piece of experience from my life but mark my words, shopping carts can kill. Everyone write your newly elected Democratic congress persons and senators about this newly emerging terorist threat! Also ask them for a wet-nap for my sister's face.