She has secrets in her hair

I was leisurely strolling back to my office today after lunch and noticed some uber-punk rock chick standing near the doors to our building. From a distance I could already tell that she had raided Cyndi Lauper’s closet (circa 1985) because nothing remotely came close to matching. That’s perfectly fine with me, wear what you want people. As the distance between us further closed I also noticed that she had taken the time to dye her “hair” at least 4 different colors but apparently did not have the time to wash it as well. Again, fine…your hair, your business. What I was 100%, absolutely not fine with were the contents her hair held. I had to directly slide past this woman to get into my office and as I did, something lurched out of her hair at me. It was a huge friggin’ rat, which I can only assume was her pet because it too had a stunning dye job (orange polka dots). I’m all for freedom of expression but not when it virtually jumps on my face. Let's keep the varmints at home people.